Never be afraid to lose a girlfriend. There are an abundance of beautiful women out there. A breakup only hurts because you are placed into an uncertain situation. The truth is, she abandoned you and tossed away like a sack of garbage, so you have to get over her. The pain and the misery is going to be there and you will feel it. I certainly felt it. It takes a real cold hearted bastard who might be a sociopath to not feel anything. There are times when I wish I could be a sociopath and just not feel, but I'm not.
When you are in a relationship, you have entered a partnership. If she is willing to leave you because she is not attracted to you anymore or doesn't think you're good enough for her, then she is not a good partner. You do not need a partner who is not going to give a shit about you. You do not want her back. The safe and comfortable routine you had is gone. Now you must go through the pain of having to find a new person. I'm not going to lie, it's going to be hard. There are many rocky roads ahead. You will be rejected by many women before you find another relationship. It's one of life's more sick and demented jokes, but there's nothing you can do about it.
As you can probably tell, I am sick of short term relationships. In this world, the divorce rate is at it's highest. As a matter of fact, women are 70% more likely than men to initiate a divorce or a breakup. I don't know why this is, but it certainly makes me lose hope in the opposite gender. There are also more and more people are okay with polyamory and open relationships, it kind of makes me sick. Each time I meet someone, I hope it turns into something real, but it never does.
I am no stranger to a break up. It happened to me more times than I would like, but this is just the superficial world we live in. Relationships are not as valued as highly as they should be and it feels like we are all disposable. I hypothesize the reason behind this is because men and woman have an idealized fantasy of who their perfect match will be, that people always think they can do better. Every day, I tell myself that one day, I will find someone who will love me for me and not some idealized fantasy of who she thinks I should be. It will be a long and difficult path, but have hope.
Your girlfriend just broke up with you. You are alone. Just accept it and move on.
Getting dumped sucks. She just proved that she will not be loyal to you. If she does not care enough about you to stay with you, then just let her go.
Accepting a break up is usually the hardest thing anyone can do. The initial shock and when your ex decides to break up with you will hurt and there's nothing you can do about it. The attraction is gone and you just have to accept her decision and move on. In my experience, once a woman has made up her mind, she will not look back. There are, however exceptional circumstances where you can get back together with an ex, but it usually never lasted long. Therefore, the only thing you can do is accept the breakup and do your best to heal yourself. If you do get back together with your ex, then that would be great. If not, then be like time and move forward, because that's the only thing you can really do after a breakup.
Your friend is your best teammate. More so than the girl who dumped you. Bros before hoes.
If she left you, then you may need support to get through this. It is important to have a friend to talk to after a breakup.
At first you may feel angry, you may feel depressed and you may even feel like it's the end of the world. It's not, the world is going to move on with or without you. The first thing I do after a breakup is to just talk to a friend. It's always good to release your feelings and just talk to someone about it. A true friend will always be there for you. You can bitch to your friend, you can cry to your friend and if they are a true friend, then they will not judge you for it. If they are a true friend, then they will help you get through the breakup and help you forget about your ex.
If you don't have any friends, then you need to just get in the car, take a drive and scream out loud until you can't scream anymore. If you don't have a car, then just go out for a walk. Listen to music or just write in a journal. Talk to yourself. Go see a counselor or find a peer support group in your area.
If you would rather not go at it alone, then find a support group to help you get over your breakup.
A depression or peer support group provides safe place after the pain and uncertainty after a breakup.
If talking to a friend doesn't help (or if you don't really have a friend to talk to), then join a depression support group. Usually these organizations meet up in churches or other facilities. Some of them can be found on Meetup.com or some similar website. A Google search can also help you locate one in your area too.
I'm not going to say you are shit out of luck, but things are going to be harder for you. If the area that you live in does not have a depression support group, then you may have to go the extra mile and make a trip to the nearest city that does. If you don't have the financial means or transportation to go to a different city, then you may have to resort to what I stated previously above; scream out loud or keep a journal. Either that or just take a long walk.
I almost think most people should skip this piece of advice... But it's here if you want it.
Sometimes you need a mind altering stimulant. Only do this if you can promise yourself (and me) that you will not get addicted.
The only reason I am including it is because it worked for me. Keep in mind that just because it worked for me, doesn't mean it will work for you or that you should actually do it, but I'm giving you an option. If I jumped off a bridge, I wouldn't want you to follow, but if you want to, then feel free. What I'm about to tell you may not be the safest coping mechanism, but for me a broken heart is just the worst feeling in the world, so I had to do what I had to do. I imagine that if I had a long term relationship that was real, I would be a lot healthier, but unfortunately things don't work like that.
This might NOT be the best idea for everyone, but I'm still going to include it on my list, just because it helped me, personally (sort of). If you have an addictive personality or a history or alcoholism, then I would recommend that you skip this entirely. You want to help yourself, not cause self harm. Even though I recommended this, I would not want to be responsible if someone ends up self harming themselves due to alcohol or drugs. Therefore, I only say do this if you do not have an addictive personality and can handle it. Also, never drink and drive. I have been guilty of this and believe me, getting a DUI/OVI is not fun. You also put other people at risk if you operate a motor vehicle impaired, so just don't do it. That being said, I really hope no one goes out driving drunk or high.
After I drink, I usually have the desire to smoke cigarettes. I remember after this one break up, I was so depressed that I just started chain smoking like crazy. The nicotine can help stimulate a positive mood, but we all know that smoking causes lung cancer, so it may not be the best idea. Excessive nicotine use can also kill a person through nicotine poisoning, so you don't want to over do it.
Disclaimer: Sometimes binge drinking can make you feel a lot worse. Alcohol is a depressant and should be used sparingly and in a controlled environment.
In my opinion, it may not be a good idea to drink alone, but if you have a friend or a drinking buddy, then go out, kick back and drink yourself to oblivion. As far as drugs go, I remember once I was so depressed over a breakup, that I even resorted to smoking marijuana, just to get happy again. I would not recommend any drugs harder than marijuana, because you do not want to trade one problem for another; just don't. Recreational marijuana is slowly getting legalized in many states, but we all know most people still obtain it illegally (let's be real here). If marijuana is not legal where you live (or the place you work at happens to do mandatory drug tests), then I would suggest skipping this. I know you want to heal, but you also don't want to get into trouble or lose your job.
That's perfectly fine. I do them, because I can handle it and it makes me feel better. If all else fails, drink as much caffeine as your body will allow. Whenever I am feeling depressed, I just drink a couple cans of energy drinks like Monster or Red Bull. Coffee and tea also work. Just be careful with the caffeine, because too much caffeine can put you into cardiac arrest if you over dose. Please don't say I did not warn you.
You have no choice but to spend time alone after a breakup. You might as well make it bearable.
Taking a day off or a vacation will help you clear your mind.
I still remember a recent breakup I had caused me to just feel so depressed, that I did not want to get out of bed. So I called into work and just took a sick day. I actually took two sick days in a row, just because I was so heartbroken, that I could not function. I remembered how much I just wanted to die and I begged God to just strike me down and kill me as I cursed his name over and over again. After the second day, I was ready to go back into work, although I was still depressed.
If you have time to prepare, then just take a vacation. Plan a trip somewhere. If you have money, go visit an exotic location. If not, then take a road trip. Go backpacking or camping. Visit a different city and just get lost. Just get away for a while and rediscover yourself.
Obviously not everyone has the luxury of having vacation days, and I understand, if you don't, then things are just going to be a bit harder for you, but there are many other ways to deal with a breakup. I have more ideas below, so keep reading.
The only way to find someone new, is to go out and experience new things.
Go out and do things with other people. You may meet someone new or someone may introduce you.
After my most recent breakup, I just went crazy with Meetups. I joined every single meetup that interested me. I joined an art meetup group called Drink and Draw, where the group members socialize and do art (this can be actual drawing on a sketch pad or digital drawing, pretty much whatever you want). I also became more involved in several fun groups, where we meet up for dinners at different restaurants, we go to bars, arcades and we play board games. I also joined a hiking group and even a pizza and taco lovers group (although I stopped going to the pizza group because I started working out like crazy). There are many options out there and many things you can learn from other people.
If you want to be a better man and attract a new woman, then work out and exercise!
After a breakup, you should work on being more attractive. Hit the gym!
Working out and exercising can help you after a break up in two ways. The first way is the simple fact that getting fit, toned and having a better body will help you find a more attractive partner after your break up. You always want to do better and working out can help you achieve the physical appearance that will make you more attractive. Second, working out will also tire your body and an intense workout can send more oxygen to your brain and make you less depressed. The initial physical pain and soreness of an intense workout can also help with your depression. For me, after an intense workout, I felt like I didn't have time to be depressed. I just felt great afterwards.
I know that working out alone can often make you less motivated to do it. Some people have no problems with working out alone and actually prefer it, but there are many of us who get discouraged and unmotivated. If this describes you, then join a gym. Don't worry about how better the other gym members are doing, you will get there. It will take some time though. Having people around, having all eyes on you can also motivate you to do more than you normally do. If you can, find a workout group.
Going out is easy. Making new friends is hard. You will get rejected a lot before you find a date.
You can have fear of rejection. The only way to get over an ex is to go out and meet new people.
If you're going to move on, then you need to make new friends. Don't expect to find a new relationship right away. It may happen or it may not, it all depends on the circumstances. Many of which are in your control, but there are also many things that are out of your control. Focus on what is in your control. You can go out and make new friends. By expanding your network, you are given more opportunities to meet someone for a relationship. New friends can introduce you to new people and maybe you might find someone who will love you for who you are and not as an idealized fantasy.
Work on the things you love and are passionate about after breaking up with your ex.
Having hobbies are important. You want to be a better version of yourself.
Do you have any hobbies or interests? If so, then work on them. Start new projects. Do what you enjoy. For me, I like painting miniatures. One of my hobbies is collecting and painting Warhammer miniatures. Here is a link to my Top 10 Warhammer Age of Sigmar Factions, so you can have an idea. Now obviously, I don't expect everyone to be interested in my hobby, but I am giving you an opportunity to explore it.
Besides painting miniatures, I also enjoy trading stocks, real estate investing, knife throwing, writing, drawing, blogging, web design, working out, discovering new restaurants and bars, being a wine connoisseur, board games, critiquing movies, and discovering new interests.
Time only moves forward. You have to go with the flow of time.
There are an abundance of beautiful women out there, but you're not going to meet that person if you're still hung up over your ex.
You are never going to meet a new girlfriend if you keep thinking about your ex. Even if you never see your ex again, you want to show them and most importantly, show yourself that you can be a better person. She dumped you because you were not up to your full potential. She thought she could do better. Prove her wrong. Make more money, get physically fit, make more friends, learn more skills, experience more that life has to offer. Be the best version of you, so you can attract someone better, someone who will appreciate you and not leave you, because you have become a better person than you were before.
Let that girl go and move on. If she comes back, then it's up to you to decide what you want to do. If not then you have no other choice but to move on. One day you will find your ex with a new guy and you may still be alone. This will hurt, but it's not the end of the world. However, if you are feeling suicidal, then please read this: Don't commit suicide.
Never be afraid to lose a girlfriend. There are an abundance of beautiful women out there. A breakup only hurts because you are placed into an uncertain situation. The truth is, she abandoned you and tossed away like a sack of garbage, so you have to get over her.