I’ve been drinking and talking and taxi riding with Drac the whole night. We will eventually get to the meat of the interview. Which is me finding out why he mercilessly beat his keyboard player half to death as part of a stage show. But I wanted to add another part of our evening together to this article. As with most drunks our conversation eventually turned to religion and politics. Here’s what Drac had to say on these matters:
Drac: Here’s my “random” view on religion (sarcastic finger quotations thrown up over the word Random): I think people of faith are beautiful. Meaning the ones who don’t impose their beliefs upon anyone. They radiate goodness and kindness toward humanity, no matter what hardships they’ve been through; demanding nothing of you because of it. I don’t care which path these ones follow. Jew, Bhuddist, Muslim, Christian, whatever… They’d never harm or tolerate the harm of a single a soul and I’d totally conversate with them on any given occasion. And be proud to call them friend. But that has nothing to do with religion. Religions of all kind seem so false to me because they’re intentionally misinterpreted by pretenders with an agenda; then mass marketed to the less informed who are led to believe that these hyper convincing morons are the gatekeepers to things beyond. But did these dupes ever stop to ask themselves: “Would an all powerful cosmic entity (God) REALLY have use for earthly money/wealth/time, buildings or even fanatical evangelists/prophets to lead followers to them?” It’s like Captain Kirk said, “What does GOD need with a spaceship?” In this case the spaceship is religion.
LV: I’m not following.
Drac: It’s good that you’re at least curious. Let me explain. If I have an ant farm, I’ll definitely take care of it. Feed them and all but what the fuck do I care what ants worship? I wouldn’t want them worshiping me or building buildings for worshiping me. Would they be using ant money as a tool for worshiping me? Why the fuck would I care? I built the ant farm and I feed them. Isn’t that enough? Why the fuck would I want my ants fighting over who celebrates my creation of this ant farm the right way? Can I even understand them? Fuck no! Can they understand me? Would I even notice the death of ant children broadcast over ant tv meant to piss off and enrage these ants on this side to destroy those ants on that side? Fuck no! I’ll just look at my ants crawling over each other, oh pretty ants, and set the ant farm down and continue my day. Religion? Psshhh…
If I want mass believed dogmatic lies fed to me I’ll just leave the news on 24 hours a day. I mean, seriously!
LV: So now that we have your view on God…
Drac: Religion. They’re not the same, you blithering cretin.
LV: Sorry. Would another beer make up for it?
Drac: Forgiven. Something light though… Easier on the stomach that this pig swill you’ve been passing off as wine.
I motion for the waitress to come over. Unlike most busy servers, she actually notices me on the first wave of my hand. This is our fifth stop on the Drac Drinking trail and I’m feeling it. The place seems employed with lackluster hipsters who are too cool to acknowledge that they’re working in a really amazing looking place. It’s like they’re only hired if they can act like they don’t care about the customer even though they’re bending over backward for them. Like this brunette waif of a waitress. She’s polite but seems intentionally distracted when placing our Lite beers down. It seems she’s emoting the phrase, “Ya, I got your beer really quick but I totally don’t care about it. Don’t talk to me. Tip well you scum!” -before vanishing and re-materializing at another table in an “I don’t care how quick I got here” fashion. I’d tell you where I am but, once again, Drac refuses to let me divulge such information, lest you follow based upon the fact that some media icon said to. I take a long pull from my beer glass, that I honestly didn’t even notice she’d poured for me, and continue our interview.
LV: So now that we have your opinion on religion, let’s hear your take on politics.
Drac: Well it seems the two go hand in hand lately. Don’t they? This gothboy is totally antipolitical to the point where if our current “world theater” were made into an action film I’d not even make it through the credits without walking out. The only thing these world leaders seem to do is take and impose. Whenever a true leader, someone guided by bettering our planet or changing our system of living, steps to the stage they’re taken down by contrived controversy or a bullet. None for me, thanks.
LV: So you don’t have any opinions on Trump, Putin or North Korea? What about the bombing? -Or the current threat of nuclear war?
Drac: See my previous answer, you media fuckboy. These guys just verbally suck each other off then brag about how they fucked their countries in the ass right in front of the media. If you ask any child in any country. “Do you want to be bombed today?” I’ll bet they say NO. So why would ANY adult do this to them based upon the words of another adult? It’s akin to saying, You don’t hang the same color fabric on your door as I do so I must destroy you and everyone like you, en masse. What possible sense could that make to anyone? Why can’t they leave each other alone? Just treat their people right? Stop being greedy? Learn to share? Can we temporarily take these world leaders out of office and send them to the same fucking kindergarten to learn how to be decent ants? Fuck! Are we ever going to get back to this god damned interview? You’re beginning to bore me, man. Let’s get out of here. And really tip her! She’s literally working her cute little ass to the bone and nobody’s noticing!
I motion for the check. Quick as light it’s in my hand and I swear this is the first smile I’ve seen from this elegantly sleeve-tatted girl. She leaves the tray with the bill, offers quick courtesy then darts behind the bar to fill another order. I tip an additional ten bucks over twenty percent. She really was fast so I thought extra was in order. Drac exasperates and reaches into his breast pocket for his wallet. (The first time he’s done so all night)
Drac: Here, I got it… I said tip her.
He nonchalantly slaps a 50 dollar bill on top of my generous gratuty. I’m stunned but say nothing as we begin our departure. As we walk out he gestures for the waify waitress to come see us. When she arrives he gently takes her hand.
Drac: I hope you don’t mind, miss.
He imposes a hug upon her and tenderly whispers, “You are beautiful and you work harder than you should. Thank you.” She’s flushed to the point of tears as she steps back to look at him for a brief moment. Then she slams into him for a bear hug that makes me uncomfortable with how long it lasts. She snuggles her whole face into his chest as if they’re satisfied lovers. When they finally release one another she can barely choke out the words, “Thank you so much, sir!” -before darting off to fill yet another order as we walk out.
LV: You are magnanimous.
Drac: Oh shut it…
To be continued…