As Halloween draws close to an end, I find it only appropriate to do a few final interviews in closure of the season. Jack Skellington seemed like a great choice for such a depressing moment; the end of Halloween.
Daclaud Lee: Welcome to Random Interviews Mr. Jack Skellington! Or can I just simply call you Jack?
Jack Skellington: Jack, or perhaps the Pumpkin King would be more appropriate?
DL: Sure, I don’t mind calling you the Pumpkin King, but doesn’t the actual Pumpkin King hold that title?
JS: No, I shall not be the stereotypical a douche bag and say you’re “wrong”, when in fact you are also correct. But… My dearest friend, if you don’t mind…I AM the Pumpkin King! And I, *Jack*, the *Pumpkin King*, grow tired of the same old thing!
DL: As do many of us, including myself, but I can never seem to get tired of Halloween. Now that it’s over, it makes me sad, but my question to you is, how do you feel, now that Halloween is drawing close to an end?
JS: My heart literally sank in despair! You would not know the feeling unless you were me. The heaviness, the weighted heaviness, is like a million tons of weight! It’s the exact same feeling you get after a first date, all seemingly goes well, but she never calls you back.
It’s the same feeling you think you aced the job interview, but when you check your email after the weekend is over, you found out to your deepest, darkest chagrin, that they offered the job to someone else.
It’s a sinking feeling of sadness and despair, my friend! It’s as if my heart literally dies each year Halloween comes to an end!
DL: But Jack, the Pumpkin King, you’re a skeleton, so wouldn’t it be safe to assume that you do not have a heart (anymore at least)?
JS: You are quite wrong my friend! I do have a heart! And it belongs to my dearest Sally! I also have a brain! Unlike that scarecrow-like being who calls himself the Pumpkin King!
DL: Yes, Sally, the patchwork bride! You are a lucky devil, Jack! As for the scarecrow-like being, I have no comment. Just be sure to check out my interview with him if you would like a delicious pumpkin pie recipe as well as some recommendations for delicious pumpkin beer! In any case, now that Halloween is over, are you looking forward to Christmas? The retail Christmas?
JS: There’s children throwing snowballs / instead of throwing heads / they’re busy building toys / and absolutely no one’s dead! That’s not *my* Christmas! *My* Christmas is filled with laughter, and joy… and this: my Sandy Claws outfit!
DL: Oh wait, Jack, I almost forgot about Thanksgiving! What do you think about Thanksgiving?
JS: I don’t know… The retail and grocery stores seemed to skip right to putting up the Christmas decorations right after Halloween, so I can’t say I know much of this “Thanksgiving” you refer to.
DL: Do you think you’re prepared to survive the next round of holidays coming up? I mean since you just lost your job after the end of Halloween, will you be able to hold out financially?
JS: Oh dearest friend, I am in a financial jam! With the end of October, I’ve lost my only source of income! It will be a long, dark Christmas, but perhaps the temp agencies are hiring? You know, I think this Christmas thing is not as tricky as it seems! There’s always the seasonal job of being Sandy Claws at the mall! In fact I believe I shall do that!
DL: Good luck to you Jack Skellington... But Santa Claus is a jolly fat man who can hardly fit down a chimney, and you’re well… anorexic! But at least you can fit down a chimney!
JS: Well, what the heck, I really do my best! And by God I really tasted something swell, that’s right! And for a moment, why, I even touched the sky! And at least I left some stories they can tell, I did! And for the first time since I don’t remember when I felt like my old bony self again! And I, Jack, the Pumpkin King…
DL: Now that what’s left of all the Halloween decorations are going to be on clearance in a few days, what else will you possibly do until next Halloween?
JS: And I just can’t wait until next Halloween! ‘Cause I’ve got some new ideas that will really make them scream! And by God, I’m really gonna give it all my might!