Kahoots: A wild place to eat with Sage

Random Interview  # Sechs (6) with Sage at Kahoots: A wild place to eat.

Interview Upon hearing about strippers baring boobage in our previous interview Daclaud Lee (DL) decides it’s time to interview the staff at Kahoots Cabaret! Deepak respectfully declines and bids us a good night with bro-hugs all around. DL and I use mouthwash in the parking lot since we have beer breath from earlier. He’s wearing a suit. I’m dressed nice from having just gotten off work, so we’re cool. We are joined by our dear friend Gene Innis Joseph (GI). He’s met us there and paid our way! Awesome dude! He’s excited about witnessing this particular interview. The gorgeous, blonde and friendly door girl is elegantly dressed in a shimmering skin hugging evening gown colored in different shades of grey sequins. It has a single strap and perfectly compliments her smooth creamy skin. She’s all smiles as we enter.

Usually, when I think of “strip clubs,” I, being formerly experienced on the matter, envision a seedy establishment. Dirty. In a horrible part of town. Not the case with Kahoots!  Upon entering the very welcoming and well lit lobby I was struck by how immaculate the marble floors are! This is a true gentleman’s club that’s visually very welcoming for both sexes. The lights and flowers and plants are a nice touch. Everything seems decorated with the word “class” in mind.

The guys, being task minded, are there to conduct interviews, so their mutual thinking is to go straight ahead to the bar and talk to whomever will speak to me (LV). I, on the other hand, who has not been to one of these in ages and can usually never afford them, am now hell bent upon seeing the show! They step toward the brightly lit, sparsely populated bar. Without a word I head toward the dimness, the music and the bare flesh. I confidently stride away from the light of the bar and into the darkness. They follow me to an empty table.

I can’t remember who was dancing to the bassy Lady Gaga rhythms when we got in because it took us a little while to set up a spot to sit since all the chairs were pushed together next to the stage. It’s very dark with exception to sparse slow-spinning disco lights and our eyes haven’t yet adjusted. We are assisted by the very friendly server, another gorgeous blonde, and our drink orders are taken. The guys are thinking about beer. I ask about the specials and find that they have $5.00 Long Island Iced Teas! No brainer! We each order one. They are great! (And, being a bartender myself, I tend to be picky about such things.)

A lot of girls smile as they pass us by, but Sage (S) stops at our table and speaks to us. We tell her who we are and why we’re there. The tall, blonde and vivacious girl agreed to be our first “victim” wearing a mischeivous smile. (Errr… I mean, first interviewee.) Due to the hustle and bustle of a cabaret we only got a short interview with Sage, but rest assured. We will see her another time for round two.

Lord Veil – What do you like about this place?

Sage – Flexible hours. Good money. Usually.

LV – Hate?

S – Dead days like today.

LV – [I decide to start with the easy stuff] Aliens invade. You must WOW them or humanity falls. What do you show them? [Sorry. I love this question because everyone has different answers. I’m also finding that it’s a good opener to the more risque’ stuff.]

S – We’re going to show them NASA! Oh, wait… Their technology’s probably WAY past that. They probably want culture! Let’s take them to the best restaurant. Like Ruth Chris! Then the seven wonders of the world. Ya know? A fly-by of the pyramids and stuff.

LV – Zombie apocalypse! Weapon of choice?

S – AK 47! Fuck them zombies up!

LV – You’re a hardcore Gangsta Rapper. What’s your name?

She’s got to head off since she’s just been called to headline the main stage and playfully shouts with enough sass and sexual attitude to rouse a man made of stone,


GI – That did it. Okay. I need a dance from her!

Sage definitely takes the stage in a dramatic way, opting for what seemed to me like death/gravity defying pole work. The crowd responds to her undeniable magnetism through both dances. The first semi/clothed. The second, confidently topless. GI tips her. A woman tips her. Everyone tips her. She’s definitely a star. Her smile is infectious. She nods to us to let us know she’s coming to our table as the DJ announces two-for-one dances.

GI does indeed agree to a dance from Sage while DL and I watch the rest of the show. She leads him to a private place somewhere further into the darkness and apparantly she’s done her job. He comes back beside himself, pounds the rest of his nearly full Long Island Iced Tea down his throat in a single swallow, slams the drained glass on the table and loudly/playfully says,

GI – Okay. Now I need to fuck something! DAMN! [laughing] (He hands DL and I a bunch of ones apiece.) Have fun guys! Holy SHIT that girl was awesome!

I high five him, “Thanks, man!,” -with a smile before looking at the stage to decide who I’m going to tip first.

DL – See? I can’t do that. I feel like if I give money to a girl in a place like this, they win.

I have finished my tea and DL’s nearly tapped his. As if on cue, our beautiful blonde server is right there when we need her. As she’s taking our glasses…

VL & GI – They win?

DL – Ya. I just can’t stand the thought of being hustled. I work for my money.

GI – You’re not being hustled. They’re working for their dollar, man. Live in the moment! Have fun!

We order a second round and I give a tip to a different blonde girl to hand to another dancer [who’s wearing an eye catching black and white striped outfit, offset by brilliantly colored hair. (I can’t tell if it’s neon orange or pink because of the black light, but it’s definitely sexy the way she has it styled) She’s wearing matching black and white sleevelets] -a tip in an “interesting” way, then I respond,

LV – They do what they can for a dollar just like you do. We all have our gifts. We gotta put these girls through college, man! Especially that one!

DL – I mean… I can kinda see that. I just never looked at it that way before. I always feel like I’m being hustled. Like it’s an us against them thing. I’ll tip the guy in the men’s room before I tip a dancer because he has to put up with shit and probably doesn’t make a tenth of what they make.

GI – HA! There’s no “us against them.” We’re all trying to get by, man. You get by with your brain. Veil’s… creative?

LV – He’s right! See? I gots no brainz, so I gits by pourin’ draaanks! But seriously. Dude, I love dancing. I totally wish I looked good enough to do this for girls and make tons of money at it! (all laugh) You can’t hate on people for working with what they have.

DL – Okaaaay… I guess I can see your point. But, still… [See recording for the rest of this. DL’s a trip! (laughing)]

A well-muscle-toned neon pink or orange haired girl (The one I had tipped by another dancer while she was on stage) saunters whimsically to our table. Her name’s Vera. Being tall and svelt with a knockout smile and piercing eyes, it’s easy to see why DL immediately tells her why we’re there and what we’re doing. Hence our next interview!

It should be noted that I wasn’t yet finished with Sage’s interview by any means. I hope to come back to it because we were just getting started! She kicked off our night in fine fashion. She was friendly, open and daring with a wickedly playful side that I think we were just beginning to tap into. And, according to GI after his “awesome” dance, she’s completely worthy of becoming a Kahoots regular for!

The servers are super attentive and helpful. The staff, male and female, are friendly and open. I actually want to come back during dinner service and try the food because everything I saw was completely spotless! [We showed up almost too late for anything] This place certainly deserves more attention from www.RandomInterviews.com. I think we’ll have Tara and Angie (Two of our other  Random Interviewers) come with us next time to conduct their own conferences so we can have a couple of female perspectives on the matter!

Lord Veil

Unknown singer/entertainer, unpublished author, starving artist, (potential cult leader according to facebook) father and hubby. Trekkie. Indy/cult/horror/foreign movie fan. Into comics, Sci-Fi and cosplay. In love with the Soska Sisters!