In war anything goes. Trash talk, hard battles, special moves, boosts and carnage… That’s to be expected when it’s team vs team and the champs are under the guidance of innocent gamers. But what about the arenas where the champions themselves take charge? What does Venom do to you during his Level 3 Attack when he takes you to the ceiling and all you can hear are the impacts; and all you can see is the occasional claw or tongue?
Is Groot really the family friendly tree we’ve all come to know and love? Are these heroes REALLY slaves of the Game Master? Prisoners of the Collector? Or do they use this contest to give in to their dark whiles? Groot and the other champs in this free Marvel handheld game are put under a microscope. Marvel Contest of Champions has a dark side. We expose it. Randominterviews.com is on the scene to get the scoop!
Amidst allegations of bullying I tried to interview subjects directly after combat in the MCoC locker room. I came to Venompool disguised as Magneto.
LV: Venompool. Is there any truth to the conspiracy theory involving a sadistic fraternity bent upon the torture and destruction of your fellow captives in the contest?
Venompool: Bhaaaathsssshhhh!!!! We do what we doooooo in this contesssssst. We dessssstrrrroy!!! By the collectorsssssss will…
LV: That’s not a denial. Is it true that you’re in league with the likes of Venom and The Amazing Spiderman to inflict as much damage and chaos upon the other champs as inhumanly possible. Even going so far as cheating to win and passing it off as “game glitches?”
Venompool: Ssssssspider???? Sssspider would never! He’sssssss not one of ussssssss!!!!!
LV: So you finally confirm the existence of such a Cabal!
Venompool: I conffffffirmmmmm nnnnnnothinnnnng!!!!! I mussssst take thissssss….
Later I was able to corner Dormammu and Ultron with the same question.
LV: Dormammu, Is it true that you and Ultron lead a secret Cabal of sadists bent on cruelty and torture, using the contest as an excuse to inflict as much carnage as possible without consequences?
Dormammu: Ultron. Answer this peasant dressed as Captain Marvel…
Ultron: Ultron and Dormammu require no… permission to inflict cruelty! BEHOLD!!!
After a period of recovery I decided to tackle the darkest subject looming over Marvel Contest of Champions (MCoC). Sexual misconduct on the part of Groot and Venom. Both were unavailable for questioning. The skinny is, Rogue has started a Class Action suit against the lovable tree and the serpentine tongued villain involving the above topic. Venom is no surprise given his villainous history. But Groot is one of the Guardians of the Galaxy, so the case is a shocker in his regard! As Rogue is prevented from speaking about the case, she is unavailable for questioning.
I was, however, able to catch a few words from some of Groot’s alledged victims.
LV: Ronan! Ronan! What have you to say about the class action suit yourself and many others have placed against Groot for sexual misconduct during combat?
Ronan: No comment! I have no comment on that! I hate that tree!!!
Ronan put his hands to his face and ran away bawling.
When Luke Cage was asked a similar question about the indictment, he said this:
Luke Cage: That tree ain’t right! Not right at all! Rogue has a good reason to pursue this case. Y’all need to listen to her! I see that fern again he’s MULCH!!!
The always Spectacular Spiderman has this to say on the subject. Trees have roots. Groot uses his roots as an attack. This attack can be blocked just like any other. These people are after the millions of units (money) Groot and Rocket collected from their bounty hunting days. And they’re just too proud to admit that Groot is a better fighter than they are. Or they’re sad they’re not… amazing like a certain Web Slinger!
Scartet Witch had this to say:
Scarlet Witch: Groot is trapped in the contest just like the rest of us. He fights to the best of his ability just like every combatant forced to participate. Have I beaten him? OF COURSE! Has he beaten me? Plenty. Is he guilty of what Rogue and her greedy compatriots say he’s guilty of? Not in the least. Groot is a noble warrior. He never gloats after victory and always helps with recovery. What Rogue isn’t mentioning in her little case is the history she has of trying to woo Groot. He knocked her back in favor of Ms. Marvel when she tried to leave Gambit for him.
LV: So you’re saying Groot is completely innocent?
Scarlet Witch: Innocent and decent. Groot is simply suffering the wrath of a woman spurned and I won’t stand for it. Now Venom, on the other hand, he’s dirty. He fights dirty. He abuses his power to perverse degrees. Him and his entire Cabal of sadists are goint to pay!
LV: So what do you make of the allegations Rogue has placed against Groot for sexual misconduct during combat?
Gwenpool: She’s dead wrong! Everyone knows about Groot’s level 1 attack! It’s just that SOME girls can’t handle a man like Groot. Or they’re sick with envy that he won’t look at them outside the arena.
LV: So you’re saying Groot is innocent?
Gwenpool: He’s not guilty of sexually assaulting anyone. But he’s no innocent either. He’s all Trunk, baby! Will Groot read this? Call me, daddy!
So there you have it, the dark side of this “family friendly” pastime. We’ll continue to cover this story and more having to do with the MCoC as the stories develop.