Tiki Talk at the Grass Skirt Columbus Ohio

Grass Skirt is an amazing place to eat! Especially if you’re into quality and ambiance. We were lucky enough to get an interview with K Bob (KB) even though he had a full patio of patrons!

Daclaud (DL), Lord Veil (LV) and myself, Brooke (BG), got drinks and shared thee BEST sweet potato fries I’ve ever tasted whilst conducting our interview.

Waiting for our drinks and sweet potato fries!
Waiting for our drinks and sweet potato fries!

BG – If you could have created one word, what would it be?

KB – I did create a word! SLIMEDOG! For all the sons of BITCHES who drink the coffee I make before I even get a cup! (Laughing)

BG – If you could be one object in this restaurant, what would you be?

He points toward the front door at a rather large wooden statute and says,

KB – Fertility God! He’s got a tattoo on his junk! That’s hardcore!

We’re all a bit taken aback that we missed this massive thing on our way in so we immediately jump up and snap a pic!

I have ordered a virgin drink since not into the whole drinking and driving thing. It’s both delicious and gorgeous. DL orders a Suffering Bastard, which he thoroughly enjoys. LV asks what the strongest drink is and immediately orders it. A Zombie. I take a sip. It’s amazing! This is also when KB introduces us to Luxardo cherries. (They garnish LV’s drink) WOW. So awesome! Even though they’re $20.00 a jar, KB gives each of us one to try.

Veil’s Grass Skirt Zombie costs $12. And is worth every penny. It’s got “151 rum w/a bright kiss of spicy lime-cardamom infused rum and a mix of fruit juices” (quoted from the menu”)

Drink Menu at the Grass Skirt - August 2014
Drink Menu at the Grass Skirt – September 2014

Daclaud’s Suffering Bastard costs $9. And says, “easy to drink tiki classic”

The Suffering Bastard at the Grass Skirt Tiki Lounge - Columbus Ohio, August 2014
The Suffering Bastard at the Grass Skirt Tiki Lounge – Columbus Ohio, September 2014

I had a virgin ginger.

As KB helps other customers LV and I snoop around and take pictures. This place is just full of Hawaiian brick-a-brack that I just can’t seem to get enough of. So many skulls, monkeys and tikkis. Even a surf board! 

Brooke in front of the Volcanic ashes of Grass Skirt!Brooke in front of the Volcanic ruins of Grass Skirt!

I’m a little disappointed that the girls bathroom got gyped in comparison to the guys in the decor department, but I love it anyway.

Brooke in the women's restroom at the Grass Skirt - August 2014
Brooke in the women’s restroom at the Grass Skirt – September 2014

BG – If you were a WWE Superstar what’s your wrestler name?

KB – White Tornado!

BG – Would you battle the Rock?

KB – I’d make sure to run circles around him! Wouldn’t want him touching me! Have ya seen that guy? My God!

BG – One of the giant tikki status comes to life. First reaction?

KB – Throw 151 on him and torch him! (Laughing)

BG – You just directed a midget porn, what do you call it? (He dies laughing)

KB – Tito’s Revenge! Staring Grant Austin. Just sounds like a cool porn name…

BG – All the skulls chime to life and start singing Day-O every night at nine. Do you sing with them or burn the place down?

KB – Sing with them, of course!

This brings up the topic of the supernatural. He tells us this story about his old job. When you open the elevator there’s an old walk in cooler. The lights come on and off at random sometimes. “When I turned around while down there I swear to God I saw a woman in a white dress on the bar.” -I completely believe him. Especially since as he’s telling the story the hairs on his arm stand up.

Things may have gotten a little Spooky… where is the bartender? I could have sworn he was in the photo when I took it… – Daclaud

BG – You’ve become a comic book super hero. What’s your power?

KB – Make mean people nice

BG – okay. Last question. You have to make a drink that will annihilate an alien queen or the human race will be destroyed! What do you serve her?

KB – A GORILLA FART!!! Tequila, 151 & Kahlua. Treats so bad it’ll knock anyone on their ass!

By this point we’re all laughing. K Bob was wonderful and the place, everything about it from the lava wall to the skull chandelier, just screams personality. I’m definitely coming back for more of those fries!

On our way out I toss Veil the camera and decide I should get to know that Fertility God a little better…

Brooke gets close to the Fertility God - August 2014
Brooke gets close to the Fertility God – September 2014

Lord Veil

Unknown singer/entertainer, unpublished author, starving artist, (potential cult leader according to facebook) father and hubby. Trekkie. Indy/cult/horror/foreign movie fan. Into comics, Sci-Fi and cosplay. In love with the Soska Sisters!